Skip to main content

For My 36th Birthday

I am fine.  

Actually fine, content, in my current state. It is not a lie I am telling myself or a thought that I am repeating so that it will become true. 

It is the actual truth. 

For the first time since I can remember I have taken all the pressure I put on myself for my birthday (and on myself daily for that matter) to be perfect. I have been down this road before, when as any December baby knows, no one can come out because of holiday plans, low funds, or there is a blizzard. We wait all year for our birthdays and when you make such efforts throughout the year for all of your loved ones special days you would like to see the love returned. Unfortunately life doesn’t work that way. 

Instead of being disappointed about plans that did or didn’t pan out, friends who you didn’t hear from, or wishes that didn’t come true, I have decided to let it all go. There is no such thing as a perfect day when you are expecting it to be so. I have decided that whatever came my way was what was meant to be. After all the point of a birthday is to celebrate one’s existence and I am great as doing that each and every day.

As I made the transition from thirty-five to thirty-six I had the good fortune to spend the year doing what I love full-time. I no longer had to spend the day at a soul crushing place where I had been for the past eleven years. Now my days are full of writing, traveling, and creating an empire. 

When you are living the life you imagine on a daily basis you no longer need any one perfect day because even on your worst days they are still the stuff that dreams are made of. Though I am still at the beginning of the next part of my journey I am grateful for every single day of it. I sacrificed and worked hard to get here and the next phase will take even more of both to get where I belong. But that is the good news. The one person solely responsible for my happiness is me. 

Sure there are things I still long for in my life that I have yet to experience. All I can do is focus on the elements that I can control and work my hardest towards my goals. I am just another year closer to it all.

In the meantime I had a birthday full of love and family, just as my very wise and special little cousin hoped for me. Those who took the time out to remember me, wish me well, and share my day with me, are the people I treasure most in this world. 

The older I get the less emotional availability I have for those who don’t deserve it. I have learned not to waste energy being disappointed. I have also learned that I will not lessen the compassion I have within myself or what I give of myself, depending on whether or not someone has earned it. For this only is a tribute to the kind of person I am.   

I will not close parts of myself off to justify those who are unworthy. That would only make me like them and I am capable of so much more.

I suppose the honest truth is that my life is far from perfect. I am still working daily to love myself unconditionally. I strive to fulfill my complete potential. I want to be present in all moments aware of how fleeting they are.

As of this past Sunday I am one year old older, bolder, and stronger. 

I’m thirty-six. Ain’t nothing to fix!!

For Previous Birthday Blogs:


Popular posts from this blog

For Find Out Friday - Why Do Emery Boards Make My Skin Crawl?

You know that sound a fingernail makes when it scratches against a chalkboard?  You know that feeling the sound of that action gives you? I, like most people, hate that sound.  I instantly feel like scrunching my shoulders up to my neck and closing my eyes.  I feel the exact same way when I am using an emery board to file my nails. This annoying sensation has a name: “grima” which is Spanish for disgust or uneasiness. This term basically describes any feeling of being displeased, annoyed, or dissatisfied someone or something.  It is a feeling that psychologists are starting to pay more attention to as it relates to our other emotions.  Emery boards are traditionally made with cardboard that has small grains of sand adhered to them. It is the sandpaper that I believe makes me filled with grima.  According to studies that are being done around the world, it is not just the feeling that we associate with certain things like nails on a chalkboard or by using emery boards

For the Perfect Appetizer Dinner: “Morgan’s Brooklyn Barbecue”

Have you ever gone out to eat and wished that you just ordered a bunch of appetizers?  I have.  It is actually my preferred way to eat. I like to get a taste of a bunch of different things rather than one big plate. I am much more interested in the kinds of foods we eat as appetizers versus lunch or dinner. Desserts hardly ever register on my radar. At the beginning of this year, right before I was set to release my annual to do list , I stumbled upon a photo of the most beautiful plate of brisket nachos I have ever seen. I instantly wanted them. Naturally the establishment behind said nachos, Morgans Brooklyn Barbecue, earned a spot on my list. The week leading up to my visit all I could think about was “would those nachos be my entire meal or just my appetizer”? Sure I love all kinds of barbecue food: the ribs, the brisket, pulled pork, and don’t even get me started on those sides!! Any restaurant that serves mac and cheese, corn bread, and creamed spinach us

For Find Out Friday - How Do You Milk An Almond?

Despite my affinity for cheese and other dairy products, occasionally (actually a few times a week) I like to go dairy-free.  During those times I rely heavily on my favorite brand of almond milk, as seen in the picture above.  Though I know there is no dairy in this product, I constantly wonder: “how does one milk an almond”? Logically I am aware that no actually “milking” is taking place.  I also know that almond milk can be made at home, although I have zero interest in attempting to make it despite my love of spending time in my kitchen. So, what is the actual process?  How long does it take?  When / where / who was the first to successful develop this product? When talking about this kind of “milk” what we are really talking about is plant juices that resemble and can be used in the same ways as dairy milk. Plant like juice has been described as milk since about 1200 A.D. The first mentions can be found in a Baghdadi cookbook in the thirteenth