This is
why I always have to try things myself. I rarely concur with any public
sentiments be it movies, television shows, plays, or music. The subject of food
is the strongest case of my argument. I do not care what is trendy but what is
popular and why. Chief’s names are meaningless if you do not have a favorite.
Then they are just letters on a page. But recipes that create the dishes you
will crave your entire life make the chief an extended part of your family.
Family, friends, and food are the three Fs that make life fun. Well I guess
that is technically four Fs.
Artichoke
Basille Pizza is the latest causality to succumb to one of my reviews.
I have
been hearing about this place and how simply amazing it is. For some reason I
thought it was started in Queens but I was wrong. It all begun in Manhattan but
since then has established itself in many other places like Queens. Maybe I am
a part psychic.
The good
part about being one of the last ones to jump aboard this ship is that they
expanded so much one landed in my backyard. Yet still my timing was not working
out. In order to get my hands on one of these prized slices I had to double
park, snap a few pictures, and get a slice of what else, artichoke pizza to go.
I was full as I was on my way home from Vinnie’s
(http://thequeenoff-ckingeverything.blogspot.com/2016/02/for-variety-that-is-vinnies-pizza.html)
so I figured this would be my dinner. While I was in there I also bought a rice
ball. They are a pizzeria staple that I couldn’t pass up. These beauties looked
too yummy and bigger than normal size. After all I wanted my review to be all
encompassing.
It turned
out to be a good thing that I hadn’t planned to stay and eat there because
there were about four bar stools and like a two seater table in the front that
was completely full. I don’t know if that is the typical layout of if the one I
was visiting, the one near the Barclay Center, was different. I was shocked it
was so nicely designed but not for patrons. I suppose this is mostly a takeout
joint although with the size of their slices you are going to need two hands to
carry it home. Seriously I almost lost my shit, as the box opened as I was
reaching for the door. That would have been tragic.
When I
was finally good and hungry the next day I was all too excited to heat up my
food. I went for the rice ball first. For those who don’t know rice ball is a
fried little ball of heaven. There is of course rice, can be white or yellow,
with cheese. Some places put peas or prosciutto in them. There are also ones
that have chopped meat in them. But for me the best ones come from Lenny and
John’s, a pizzeria nearby, where they are full of white rice and mozzarella
cheese and are small enough that you can eat way more than you think you did.
“Once you pop you can’t stop”.
Anyways I
heated up my rice ball and dug in not knowing what was inside. I have to say I
have never spit out a piece of rice and cheese so fast in my life. There were a
ton of onions in the middle that gave off a sweetish taste. I was confused. I
went back in for another bite, after removing the onions, and still it was not
fantastic. I put some of their marinara sauce on, which I don’t usually do, but
I thought maybe it would help. No such luck. I sort of ate around the outside
and called it quits.
I have
never met a carb with cheese that I didn’t like. But on this day I would strike
out two for two.
I heated
the pizza up in the oven thinking this would keep the crust crunchy and make
sure the entire thing was warm all the way through. Well that mission was
accomplished. It smelled good kind of like the spinach and artichoke dip you
can find in restaurants. Maybe that’s where I got my hopes up.
When I
bit down into my first piece I was actually impressed. It was so good, too good
to be true. It was like butter and I mean that literally. It was a huge slice
of butter and artichoke. I didn’t even taste the cheese. For a couple of bites
that was fine but then I hit a wall. It was way TOO rich for me. I cut it up
thinking I could just take some small bites but my body decided that wouldn’t
work either. With more than half of it remaining that too went in the trash. I
was horrified. But as it started to cool I could see the grease I tasted and
that turned my stomach all by itself. There are no more words.
Actually
it made me think of Paula Deen. Not because of the butter but because when I
was in Savannah
(http://thequeenoff-ckingeverything.blogspot.com/2015/03/for-hard-hearted-hannah-vamp-of.html)
I went to her restaurant and made the mistake of ordering wrong. I got the
chicken potpie and had a virtually identical experience. After two bites of the
best thing you ever tasted it becomes like a big slimy glob you can’t bear to
touch.
I was so
glad I just picked it up and didn’t dedicate more time for this. Now I realize
that I went from Vinnie’s Pizza to Artichoke Pizza, it was a day of extremes.
From leaving the former high on life to despair throwing out pizza for the very
first time and living not to regret it. That speaks volumes. The only part that
was satisfying was getting to cross it off my list and looking at the hot guy
behind the counter that rang me up.
My final
pizza journeys from my 2015/2016 To Do List (http://thequeenoff-ckingeverything.blogspot.com/2015/03/for-year-5-2015-2016-to-do-list.html)
will bring me back to Manhattan for Marta and Emmett’s. My final Brooklyn haunt
will take place at Best Pizza. With a name like that I have to see if it holds
up.
The only
pizza place I will not have visited on from my list is Prova Pizza. Sadly I
recently found out that it has closed down before I could get there.
I know I
have hit up enough pizza places to last a lifetime so one won’t make or break
me. However, spoiler alert, I might have one or three on my updated to do list
coming out next month.
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