I
can’t believe today is the last day in this year. Even though I have
experienced this for thirty-four years now, it has a whole new feeling to me
this time around. Having just begun my thirty-fourth year in these last two
weeks I have become a changed woman. Sure the process has been underway for a
while but now I am really feeling myself taking my life in my hands and in
stride. I have eliminated a lot of negativity and self-destructing language I
have a way of using when I am talking to myself. I figure I should treat myself
better than I treat others and I would never have uttered out loud my previous
thoughts when trying to comfort someone else. I am always encouraging and
looking for the silver lining so now I am making sure that is behavior I use
internally as well as externally.
I
realize I am actually looking forward to this New Year. Oddly enough there are
so many posts online today about how to get through it and not become
distraught or put too much pressure on ourselves. I find that funny. But I
guess that’s because of this movement going on within me. I am looking forward
to the New Year because I know it will bring good things to me. I know that for
sure because I am the one who is going to go out and get what I want, from
where I want, with who I want. I am finally confident that I am the master of
my own castle.
I
suppose this particular journey began last year. I remember very clearly
counting down until it was officially 2015, feeling like anything could happen,
but secretly feeling like it would be another average year. I am glad my first
instincts were right.
I
have spent so many previous years upset at the lack of progress I have made in
my life. This is mostly due to my chronic migraine illness. Now that my illness
appears to be for the most part under control (knock on wood) than it has ever
been, I can actually do the work that will make the changes in my life. It has
allowed me to do more, therefore I can write more, and actually see myself
living out my dreams.
Now
I am making sure I encourage myself, calm myself, and don’t limit myself. It is
just as important for me to be realistic in my daily/yearly goals as well as to
push myself. I am trying to find the space in between and stay there. My health
limits a lot of what I can do and I am no longer going to let that get me down.
Instead I will just use that as motivation for when I am well to do more. That
is doing more without pushing my limits. I had a tenancy to over criticize
myself and that never amounts to more work. Go figure! Creativity does not live
in the land of negative thoughts. But writing always makes me better. I am full
of “Big Magic”.
When
it comes to New Year’s Eve plans I have decided I am past the age of partying
simply because it’s New Year’s Eve. When you hit an age when you can legally
party any day of the week it seems a waste to spend a ton of money going out.
Also since I am a New Yorker, spending days on end, often in the cold
without a bathroom, seems unappealing to me thus no up close Times Square ball
drop for me. My TV works just fine thank you. I also love that Anderson Cooper
hosts CNN’s countdown but now Kathy Griffin has ruined that for me too. Oh
well.
This
year I am planning a semi- quiet evening at home. I have spent the last few
years at home with family and friends and tonight will be no different. Eating,
drinking, and laughing are the best ways I know how to celebrate anything. I am
looking forward to it just that much more today.
As
for next year, I plan on going out and celebrating New Year’s Eve big. I feel
like I have some party girl still left inside of me and I want to do it while I
am still young. I missed a few years because I couldn’t drink (because of my
illness and medications) so I want another hurrah. Plus I want an opportunity
to learn how to make that champagne fountain out of filled glasses although it
terrifies me (see link below).
I
also plan to have some money because so many of my favorite restaurants in town
and elsewhere have amazing parties. Travel and food sounds like a good plan for
all of those other New Year’s Eves to come.
I
am always interested in what other cultures do for holidays and New Year’s is
unique is that we as a world celebrate it but at different times. For example
is has been 2016 in Australia for almost a day now (and emerging on day two by
the time I post this tonight). I love that part of the “Rocking Eve” where they
show shots from around the world and what it looked like when the clock strikes
midnight. I always am eager to see my favorite places and picture myself there
in one year or another. I also need to get my butt to Coney Island. As a
Brooklynite it’s a shame I haven’t celebrated a New Year’s Eve there before but
picturing eating at Nathan’s while watching fire breathers is sounding pretty
good to me (see link below)!
Today
I read some interested customs for ringing in the New Year in other countries
(see link below).
These
are my favorites:
· Columbia- you
walk around with an empty suitcase to signify you are ready for a year of
travel;
· Bolivia- wear
red underwear to bring in love, gold to usher in wealth; and
· Ecuador- burn
pictures of the people and things you don’t want to follow you into the New
Year.
I
thought as a final note I would look back at all of the final posts of previous
years so as to compare where I am in my blog and personal journey today.
Here
is the breakdown:
And
of course this is the last one for 2015.
I
can always tell by the number of blogs I post per month per year how I am
feeling. I feel like some years writing anything was a bonus even though the
timing was so delayed from the time the activity happened to the time it was
actually posted. That always left a sinking feeling in my heart. This year I
have come close to breaking my first year, 2011, total posts of seventy-one. But a wise professor once told me it was bad luck to look backwards since all we can is move forward. So even though I
was initially upset that I will only have posted sixty-nine as of tonight, I am working to let it go because that is a waste of emotion. Instead I am going to be proud this is my second
best year of blogging so far. Tracking progress is always better than hanging on
to the negativity of the shoulda, coulda, woulda’s of the world. It’s like that
album JLO released during her Ben Affleck years- “This Is Me….Then”.
As
the dawn of 2016 approaches I am waving good bye and thank you to 2015 for at
this moment I am happy, healthy, and hopeful. That is a surreal silver lining
for sure.
On
to the next one.
For
More New Year’s Related Information:
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