Today is my birthday eve. It is also Super Tuesday. That is no mistake. This particular birthday is really my second birthday of the year. It is a day that celebrates the arrival of me discovering my purpose rather than my actual birth. To me they are equally important; one couldn’t exist without the other.
In previous birthday blog posts I have mentioned why this day is important to me and how much this blog has changed my life. I have already mentioned that I am still in shock I did this, created this, for myself. I don’t believe I will ever get use to that. I suspect its because I feel like it was a small step in the middle of the night when I wrote three blogs back to back and then started this site. I suppose it had been in the works for a while but that night my frustration and momentum took over. I will always be grateful for the divine intervention that night, that made it “the night”.
This week started off with a two-day migraine that weakened me and my ability to work and write. I am happy to report that the feeling has lifted and I am excited for the remaining days of the week ahead. When I reflect on my life my migraines are also apart of that. It is kind of like that Eminem song; “I am friends with the monster inside of my head”. It is easier for us to keep the peace and deal with the pain than to ignore it.
Lately my head has been doing better than ever. My energetic zest for life has returned to a level I haven’t seen in years. Even when I fall off the wagon I am able to get back on up MUCH faster than before.
Two things occur to me within the timeline of my blog. It has been five years since I began typing under the heading “The Queen of F-cking Everything” which happens to be the year I turned thirty. I have always said I wasn’t the girl who needed to be a married mom by that day or my life would have no meaning. But I know find it ironic that nine months almost to the day I turned the big 3 0 I created this new life within me. I now had my baby, a blog, to nurture. It seems I was on the same track without ever acknowledging it.
These last five years have also been the most significant for my chronic migraine illness. I have been to the depths of hell and back in pain that has crippled me at times and stood in the way of living the life I imagine for myself. During the course of finding better treatments I can now honestly say I am on the right side. It is part miracle, part Montefiore hospital.
A few years ago I got some really terrible advise about my migraines from someone who has likely never had one. She told me I should just “will them away”. Lets say I kept most of my response to myself, lucky for her. Like if that had been an actual option I just kept having them for fun.
The rage behind ignorant statements like that gives me extra fuel now. Now that I have done the very strenuous work of getting well, working with my doctor, I know my soul is strong enough for anything that comes my way in the future. I don’t need religion or dumb suggestions to take the credit or the blame for my illness. Bad things happen to good people everyday and I have always believed in being grateful for what you have. Things can always be worse. But I wouldn’t wish my illness on my worst enemy or this woman.
In terms of the goals I have set for myself I have accomplished much from the last blog birthday. I can now say I am officially a corporation and actively looking forward to widening my brand. I expect to begin launching a series of videos so that my followers can know in real time what I am doing and if it is worth their time. I feel like it is just another way to share my voice and the best part will be having some more of my personality on display. That lady who created Angie’s list was someone behind a computer once too before she appeared on TV commercials.
In just the two months of this year I have written nineteen blogs (not counting this one) which is about half of the total blogs I posted in 2013. That alone blows my mind. It is nice to be able to surprise myself and take stock in what that development means for me, my health, and my future.
I am proud to share that my posts are now getting read by more and more people. Those numbers are now in the three digit range. This makes me so proud.
In terms of goals for my blog, I plan on continuing the celebration all week long leading up to the brunch I have this weekend. Those who are nearest and dearest to me, who have supported the blog and outings from the beginning, will surround me. I have chosen the Clover Club as the special spot for this gathering. It has been on my mind for a while so it is the perfect place to rejoice while collecting information for another post.
The Clover Club has a saying:
“While we live we live in clover;
When we die we die all over!”
When we die we die all over!”
I have absolutely no idea what that means but you can bet your bottom dollar I will let you know once I find out.
Since my girl Hillary did so well in the primaries today it has given me life. For those who don’t agree they can have several seats. I am going to savor the time remaining on this Super Duper Tuesday as I prepare for my big day tomorrow.
As a way to celebrate this year’s blog birthday, I bought myself a little something. Yes I buy myself presents for both of my birthdays each year. Today this gift arrived, such perfect timing! The present is an Alex and Ani bracelet with a Queen’s crown on it. On the back the description three words long: Light, Goddess, and Power. These are three words I hope describe me today and in the future. I want my reign to be a long one.
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