Skip to main content

For My 2015

With a new year comes a new start. That is the tradition we cling to. We make resolutions that we may or may not intend on keeping. We all prepare for a new beginning, a way to cleanse the slate and start over again. Depending on how the prior year went for you the more you may be looking to a year full of possibilities. I am very much in this headspace now. I want to make as many changes as I can so that I am only looking forward and not backward.
Since the beginning of the year I have been trying very hard to stay in a positive frame of mind. More importantly just staying within my feelings in and outside of my mind. If I am in a bad mood I want it to be because that’s how I feel and not because that’s what I feel projected around me. This is SO much harder than it seems. All it takes sometimes is for me to spill coffee on myself, hit traffic, or run into a rude person and my mood is ruined. Thus so is my day. It is a terrible habit but small things knock me off my game. I am trying now to breathe through it and let it roll off my shoulders. I want to focus on what I know the meaning of life to be and the things I want to be. In order to create I need to be able to feel everything in my world authentically.
When other people’s situations or problems begin to weigh on you they interfere with your true path. They can even distract you from any progress you set out to make that day. One day off your beaten path is more than enough. I have grown weary of days like that and want whatever is in my control to remain that way. This is taken a lot of effort. To stay the course and succeed with the little milestones I set for myself every day is a gigantic step in the right direction for me. I want to look back on 2015 and see a collection of 365 days like this. Realistically I know that will not be the case but it is the hope and determination to get as close to that as possible that drives me to try my hardest. 

I want this to be a year of family, friends, great travel, inspirational writing, and new beginnings. I want my chronic migraine disease to be under full control and with less effort than it takes most days now. But the most important goal is to be as selfish as possible. By this I mean I want to self-preserve my emotions, my talents, resources, and strengths for the things I need to achieve. I no longer want to waste any precious time on the things that truly do not matter. Even when it comes to someone or something I love I still give too much. I need to begin saving more of me for myself. I need to do me.

Most of what we do and are able to accomplish begins with your mindset. So from now on I am going to come from Bethenny Frankel’s “A Place of Yes” and support myself one hundred percent. If that means changing my physical environment to stir the emotional changes that I need to thrive then so be it.
I still have to learn how to divide my three worlds and still feel like I am me and present in each. The way I figure it there is my day job, my personal life, and the world that exists in my head and heart. The latter is what I want to bring over to the other two parts of my life.
Figuring out how to just be who you are, how you are, where you are is the challenge.
“But I am right on top of it Rose.”
For Good Advice:


  1. You bought tears to my eyes.. Grandma had that plague hanging in her kitchen. Glad she is still so much apart of your life. xoxo


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

For Find Out Friday - Why Do Emery Boards Make My Skin Crawl?

You know that sound a fingernail makes when it scratches against a chalkboard?  You know that feeling the sound of that action gives you? I, like most people, hate that sound.  I instantly feel like scrunching my shoulders up to my neck and closing my eyes.  I feel the exact same way when I am using an emery board to file my nails. This annoying sensation has a name: “grima” which is Spanish for disgust or uneasiness. This term basically describes any feeling of being displeased, annoyed, or dissatisfied someone or something.  It is a feeling that psychologists are starting to pay more attention to as it relates to our other emotions.  Emery boards are traditionally made with cardboard that has small grains of sand adhered to them. It is the sandpaper that I believe makes me filled with grima.  According to studies that are being done around the world, it is not just the feeling that we associate with certain things like nails on a chalkboard or by using emery boards

For My Madness During Migraine Awareness Month

Last weekend as I sat staring at the blank page in front of me, I was still surprised and elated that I had an entire day to myself and unlike past experiences it was filled with what I wanted when I wanted it. There were a few rough moments but when I consider the previous twelve hours (and the days to come) have been better than the last week. Especially this last week even though I had braced myself ahead of time, I just didn’t know I should have braced for a more serious episode. I am a chronic migraine sufferer for so many years I don’t quite remember when they started exactly which is ironic because I can remember every special event they have ruined. I remember plays or dinners I was at where I don’t remember what happened but I could tell you what I felt minute by minute. It amazing how the mind works, especially when it’s operated by a migraine brain. In the last few years, specifically the last few years since I have been going to the Montefiore Headac

For My 33rd Birthday

As I sit here and begin to write this it is on my last day of my thirty-second year. I hardly know where to start. It is remarkable what a difference a year makes. I am in such a different and many ways better place than I was this time last year. For proof all you have to do is see the date on that blog which was posted on February 17 th of this year. As you will learn much has changed since then. First of all I have left my house since I posted that blog. I don’t just mean out of my house but out of my city. This was the first year I have traveled since 2012 and just like 2013 was a blow to my spirits because I was not able to do so, this year was uplifting because I was able to go and do. I saw many things that were hidden in a file in the back of my mind for so long I felt the dust collecting within me. I knew how badly I yearned to stretch those muscles I use when I plan, photograph, and take a vacation. For me vacations preserv