Over the last few months I have been reflecting about what it means to me to be turning the big 3-0. I have never pictured myself getting older or worried what that would be like. I know a lot of women who torture themselves about getting married and having a family by this age. I am not one of these women. I am currently single and have always believed that your 20’s were for finding yourself. Whatever, that means.
It turns out that what it meant for me was a road I would have never ever planned for myself. It was a road full of bumps and hard times. Yet, there were rays of sunshine. I have learned who are my real friends and family. The people I can be myself around no matter what. I feel like a decade has flown by in the blink of an eye and in the same breathe I feel like this journey of being “me” has taken all of my life. Well, indeed it has.
This last year has been extra special to me. I have made the commitment to live my best life. To acknowledge that the things I love and am passionate about are the things I am best at. That I will make a go of this new chapter of my life and no longer go with the flow simply because that is easier. I want to set an example. I want to be someone that inspires others to follow their dreams in whatever ways possible.
It is funny to me to think back on how I got here exactly because I am not entirely sure. There are a million small moments and decisions that in an instant change the course of who you will become without your ever realizing it. Sometimes I don’t even recognize the person I use to be. I can look at a photograph from college and remember being there but the person in that photo no longer exists. In some ways it is like having a multiple personality that fades into the sunset. I like to think of the many “me’s” that have existed as small titles that now are complied into the person I currently am. It makes me wonder how I will feel when I turn 40. Will I read these blogs and laugh? Will I be successful in new business ventures? Will I be happy?
I have always loved the ending of “It’s a Wonderful Life.” The main character, George Bailey, gets to see what his world would have been like if he was never born. It is a terrible site but it is a gift. He then can truly appreciate the life he has that just a day ago he thought he was burdened with. A part of me has wanted to be George just for a minute to see what that experience would be like.
My only goal for this specific blog is to treat it as a journal entry. A road map for where I am today. And, today I am happy. I am grateful. I have love in my life and well wishes. I am aware of the many blessings I have that others do not and I do not dare take them for granted.
So today (and into the wee hours of tonight) I am going to celebrate. I am going to celebrate my life and hope that in my 30 years I have accomplished something and made the world a better place.
I am going to measure my life in love.
Seasons of love.