Over the last few months I have been reflecting about what it means to me to be turning the big 3-0. I have never pictured myself getting older or worried what that would be like. I know a lot of women who torture themselves about getting married and having a family by this age. I am not one of these women. I am currently single and have always believed that your 20’s were for finding yourself. Whatever, that means.
It turns out that what it meant for me was a road I would have never ever planned for myself. It was a road full of bumps and hard times. Yet, there were rays of sunshine. I have learned who are my real friends and family. The people I can be myself around no matter what. I feel like a decade has flown by in the blink of an eye and in the same breathe I feel like this journey of being “me” has taken all of my life. Well, indeed it has.
This last year has been extra special to me. I have made the commitment to live my best life. To acknowledge that the things I love and am passionate about are the things I am best at. That I will make a go of this new chapter of my life and no longer go with the flow simply because that is easier. I want to set an example. I want to be someone that inspires others to follow their dreams in whatever ways possible.
It is funny to me to think back on how I got here exactly because I am not entirely sure. There are a million small moments and decisions that in an instant change the course of who you will become without your ever realizing it. Sometimes I don’t even recognize the person I use to be. I can look at a photograph from college and remember being there but the person in that photo no longer exists. In some ways it is like having a multiple personality that fades into the sunset. I like to think of the many “me’s” that have existed as small titles that now are complied into the person I currently am. It makes me wonder how I will feel when I turn 40. Will I read these blogs and laugh? Will I be successful in new business ventures? Will I be happy?
I have always loved the ending of “It’s a Wonderful Life.” The main character, George Bailey, gets to see what his world would have been like if he was never born. It is a terrible site but it is a gift. He then can truly appreciate the life he has that just a day ago he thought he was burdened with. A part of me has wanted to be George just for a minute to see what that experience would be like.
My only goal for this specific blog is to treat it as a journal entry. A road map for where I am today. And, today I am happy. I am grateful. I have love in my life and well wishes. I am aware of the many blessings I have that others do not and I do not dare take them for granted.
So today (and into the wee hours of tonight) I am going to celebrate. I am going to celebrate my life and hope that in my 30 years I have accomplished something and made the world a better place.
I am going to measure my life in love.
Seasons of love.
Can't believe my baby girl is 30 years old.ReplyDelete
As I was reading this blog tears came to my eyes. When did my little girl become this amazing woman whose words I can't believe I'm reading. Then I realized you were always this amazing but you needed to know when you knew it. Happy 30th Birthday and may all dreams come true. Love you with all my heart. xoxo