Skip to main content

For Find Out Friday - Why Does Misery Love Company?


I have thinking a lot today about moods. Specially how easy it is to be put in a bad mood simply by spending time around someone who is always in one. 

If we can allow ourselves to be affected by someone else’s day, and yes it is us that allows it, what is the value in being unhappy? 

I have long known that happiness is a choice. But if it is, why aren’t more people wanting to join that club? 


Why does "misery love company” so much?

I have done some research into other popular expressions of mood: “karma is a bitch” (https://bit.ly/2HO84SG), “blessing in disguise” (https://bit.ly/2TrY7MA), as well as “silver linings” (https://bit.ly/2uBjn8p).

But when I think of misery loving company the first thought I have is of a Broadway play I saw many times and loved; “Avenue Q”. 

It was a play featuring puppets but with very adult language and concepts. I laughed my ass off. 

One of the songs features a German word I hadn’t heard before; “schadenfreude”. It means: pleasure derived by someone from another person's misfortune. 

Before I continue, you have to watch this clip because it’s just too damn true and funny not to share (not from the Broadway production).


While the quality of the video isn’t great (especially the coughing you hear in the beginning) the show still makes me smile. Which is a reason I suspect misery loves company: it feels good to know you aren’t the only one who feels crappy at times.

The origin of the phrase dates back to the seventeenth century (what that says about us as a species speaks volumes) even though the emotion behind is far older. 

In the fourteenth century, historian Dominici de Gravina wrote: 

“It is a comfort to the unfortunate to have had companions in woe." 

Despite this sentiment, it is the English born naturalist John Ray who is credited with originating two popular phrases. The first is “misery loves company" and the second is "blood is thicker than water”.

Playwright William Shakespeare gave us the antidote:

"The miserable have no other medicine / But only hope.”
So while having a pity party for yourself once in a while is fun as a way to for unburden yourself (so is crying, screaming, or eating McDonald’s), how long do you have to stay miserable for in order to feel better? 

For me, the answer is not long. 


I simply try not to allow myself more than a few moments of self indulgent feelings of rage and sorrow. Then, I have to move on because nothing changes or gets better if we continue to focus on the negative. It is hard, but I have got to keep it moving.

So while misery loves company, I am going to strive to stay focused on success.   

For More Information:





Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

For Find Out Friday - Why Do Emery Boards Make My Skin Crawl?

You know that sound a fingernail makes when it scratches against a chalkboard?  You know that feeling the sound of that action gives you? I, like most people, hate that sound.  I instantly feel like scrunching my shoulders up to my neck and closing my eyes.  I feel the exact same way when I am using an emery board to file my nails. This annoying sensation has a name: “grima” which is Spanish for disgust or uneasiness. This term basically describes any feeling of being displeased, annoyed, or dissatisfied someone or something.  It is a feeling that psychologists are starting to pay more attention to as it relates to our other emotions.  Emery boards are traditionally made with cardboard that has small grains of sand adhered to them. It is the sandpaper that I believe makes me filled with grima.  According to studies that are being done around the world, it is not just the feeling that we associate with certain things like nails on a chalkb...
Post a Comment
Read more

For Find Out Friday - Why is One Foot More Ticklish Than the Other?

As I sit here typing I can’t seem to stop thinking about my nails. Mainly that they REALLY need to get done. They are starting to chip and become unruly. As soon I as think about making an appointment my mind immediately returns to this question: “which of my feet will be ticklish this time?” Because I am a girl that needs her fingernails and toenails to match, I always get a pedicure whenever I get my nails done. And while this should be an activity I enjoy, it often feels like a chore, despite my going only once every three to four weeks. I know; #firstworldproblems.  Anyway, each and every time I get my toes done, as soon as they are done soaking in the bubbly water I wonder, which of my feet will be ticklish today?  Without fail one of them always seems to get the brunt of it and suddenly what was supposed to be a relaxing activity has made me all tense. So, is there a scientific reason for this?  According to most research, yes. While the ...
Post a Comment
Read more

For a Doughnut Worthy of Food Network Glory: “Dun-Well Doughnuts”

All because I wanted a Boston creme doughnut. That is how this blog truly began. It was Father’s Day weekend and although I was initially thinking of myself, I knew my father wouldn’t mind having a sweet treat for dessert. Brooklyn is synonymous with great pizza, bread, and of course bagels. But it also has many great bakeries producing some of the most delicious doughnuts you have ever tasted. Just to name a few, there is: Doughnut Plant , Peter Pan Donut & Pastry Shop and Dough .   On the day of my craving, I did what any of us do countless times a day - I opened Google. When I Googled “best Boston creme doughnuts in Brooklyn” Dun-Well Doughnuts appeared high on that list. Intrigued I researched it further and learned that it had won the Canadian  Food Network’s contest called “Donut Showdown” in 2013. That was enough information for me to decide to visit the very next day.  Dun-Well Doughnuts was opened by Dan Dunbar and Christopher Hollowell in December...
1 comment
Read more